Anger Phase

I've now entered the next phase of getting over b2, anger, which I'm not really proud of, to be honest. I'm just glad that I'm making progress, so in a way its good. I am starting to really hate him, like despise him. Well, let me be clear, I don't truly hate anyone (if I saw b2 trapped in a burning car or something, I'd probably help pull him out, I guess because I am a decent human being), but I really don't like his behavior and I'm really angry about the way he treated me. In one word it was just --- wrong! I know that I have myself partly to blame for it, as the saying goes "people treat you the way you allow them to". Yes, I know, I know. I guess, being me, I just never would do that to another person, the things he did, the things he said. Today, I filled in my guy friend M on what happened with b2 and he, like pretty much everyone else who has heard the saga, was completely shocked by b2's behavior. No one expected that of him. Its like he was feeding his ego by making me feel bad, really bad, and he took pleasure in it. It was cruel and unusual punishment that I wouldn't dole out to my worst enemy.

I returned the bear today, I put him back on the edge of the cube where asshole, I mean, b2 sits. Its better to just return anything that belongs to him or is in anyway associated with him. There is truly no reason for contact anymore, unless it is a work-related matter - even that I am trying my best to minimize. Its just not fair that he is fine right now, completely unaffected, going about his business and working on his music. While I am left a mess - hurt, angry and picking up the pieces.